If you are a parent, you have difficult, but much more fascinating life…  You don’t have time for boredom. You have a full time job with all responsibilities, dissapointments and great joys attached, and no one will fire you. Now about a parent’s job description. This is really funny. If it had been presented this way, do you believe any of us would have done it?!

POSITION: Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
                   Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pop, Pa, Papa

JOB DESCRIPTION:

• Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
• Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
• Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
• Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

• The rest of your life.
• Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
• Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
• Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
• Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
• Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homeworks projects.
• Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks…
• Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
• Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
• Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
• Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
• Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:

• None.
• Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining  and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

• None required unfortunately.
• On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

• Get this! You pay them!
• Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
• A baloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become finacially independent.
• When you die, you give them whatever is left.
• The oddest thing about reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:

• While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no payd holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play cards right.

Give this to read to all PARENTS you know. Appreciate them for everything they do on a daily basis. Let them know they are appreciated for the fabulous job they do. Love and admiration to anyone thinking of applying for this lifetime job!

Source: www.brucemail.com; Photo ‘Pretty Girls’ by April Sommers; photo ‘Love Envelope’ by Petr Kratochvil